Friday, August 3, 2012

You Don't Look At Me

I've been on a haiku kick recently, but rather than bombard you with a ton of different haikus, here is a poem where each stanza is structured as a haiku.  Please let me know what you think.

You don’t look at me
when I speak seriously.
Am I just your clown?

When I need the truth
or show pain for you to soothe,
you always look down.

We make eyes while
I try to make you smile
when it’s all in fun.

But when the laughs stop
or the mood begins to drop,
I look and find none.

I’d rather you glare
sidelong at me or just stare
than always gaze off

into distant space
when I stand before your face
with my armor off.

Do you not trust me?
Do you not like what you see
when I drop my act?

When we must face facts
or hardship, all that I ask
is that you look back.

Copyright (C) 2012 by Eric Landuyt

1 comment:

  1. I like the idea behind the structures, but I'm not sure how well it's utilized here... most haikus tend to deal with literal concepts instead of abstract, so keep that in mind if that's related to a point you want to make. The concept is a good one. Honestly, most of these would work fine on its own to establish what you're going for... maybe just pick one?