The Greatest Villains: Act I, Scene 7

Scene VII

Full lights. The party (SOLOMON, JC, GOLIATH, MARTHA) emerges onto a dirty and poor street filled with beggars. GOLIATH stops to look at the map.

GOLIATH: According to the map, we should be close to our next target…

“Mission Impossible Theme (Danny Elfman)” plays as a MYSTERIOUS MAN dressed in all black enters. He throws a gold coin over the party that lands in the middle of the street.

SOLOMON: Gold!

As the music kicks into gear, SOLOMON runs over to pick it up, yet the other beggars form a dog pile and begin to fight him over it. MARTHA and JC move in to try and pull SOLOMON out of the crowd. GOLIATH steps back in order to avoid the confrontation, and the MYSTERIOUS MAN taps GOLIATH on the shoulder. When GOLIATH turns to look, the MM pokes his eyes out in a Three-Stooges-Like way. With GOLIATH distracted and in pain, he grabs the map and runs off. The music fades out as MARTHA and JC pull SOLOMON out of the mob and the lucky beggar who got the coin skips offstage happily (the remaining beggars slump back into their miserable, previous state.)

SOLOMON: Well, that’s just great. I could have really used that gold too!

BEGGAR: Oh, how you suffer.

The party turns to see one BEGGAR, sitting alone with a raggedly cloak and a tin plate with three coins in it, addressing them.

BEGGAR: Pardon me. How you suffer, your majesty.

GOLIATH: Oh… I knew we should have kept the goat costume…

MARTHA gives GOLIATH a weird look.

GOLIATH: … I don’t want to explain it now.

SOLOMON: I don’t need this. (To GOLIATH) Where are we headed next?

GOLIATH: …about that…

It takes a little bit for SOLOMON to realize the truth.

SOLOMON: You lost it!?

GOLIATH: I’m sorry! It was stolen! He appeared to be a nice man until he poked me in the eyes!

SOLOMON sighs and walks over to the BEGGER.

SOLOMON: Could you actually be of use and tell us where to find Ramses the Second?

BEGGAR: Why should I tell you?

SOLOMON: Because I am your king!

BEGGAR: You’re no king I’ve ever heard of. Kings use tax money to protect us and improve our lives. You spent it all on women and fast cars. Kings let us get closer to God. You abandoned Him for several other idols, trying to fill you bottomless cup. I just provide for a family, and I’m already a greater king than you.

SOLOMON: Don’t you remember the good I’ve done for this land?

BEGGAR: I liked those times. You were a good king four years ago, wise and God-fearing. Remember when you saved that child from the two women who claimed to each be the mother?

SOLOMON: How could I forget? My finest hour…

BEGGAR: Well you did forget. Look around… would a wise king let this once beautiful land go to waste? You got fat and lazy while the people who loved you (“The World We Knew,” by Frank Sinatra, begins to play) could only lie down and watch. I was one of them. (Spot on BEGGAR).

         OVER AND OVER I KEEP GOING OVER THE WORLD WE KNEW…

         ONCE WHEN YOU WALKED BESIDE ME.

         THAT INCONCEIVABLE, THAT UNBELIEVABLE WORLD WE KNEW…

         WHEN WE TWO WERE IN LOVE…

         AND EVERY BRIGHT NEON SIGN TURNED INTO STARS,

         AND THE SUN AND THE MOON SEEMED TO BE OURS…

         EACH ROAD THAT WE TOOK TURNED INTO GOLD

         BUT THE DREAM WAS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HOLD.

         NOW OVER AND OVER I KEEP GOING OVER THE WORLD WE KNEW…

         DAYS WHEN YOU USED TO LOVE ME.

Lights up, spot off

SOLOMON: (to his group) We should leave quickly.

The party exits. The other watching beggars stand up, slowing approaching the edge of the stage as they sing along with the BEGGAR.

CHORUS: AND EVERY BRIGHT NEON SIGN TURNED INTO STARS,

         AND THE SUN AND THE MOON SEEMED TO BE OURS…

         EACH ROAD THAT WE TOOK TURNED INTO GOLD

         BUT THE DREAM WAS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HOLD.

         NOW OVER AND OVER I KEEP GOING OVER THE WORLD WE KNEW…

         DAYS WHEN YOU USED TO LOVE ME.

         OVER AND OVER I KEEP GOING OVER THE WORLD WE KNEW…

Lights fade out for scene change. End scene.