I shut off my brain
to keep myself sane.
I nearly went mad before I fell in love.
Now love is a distraction
that blunts my reaction
to everything I fear whether I should or not,
to the world I live in,
to my own mounting sins.
In the back of my mind, I know nothing has changed.
Despite all my plans,
real control is not in my hands.
In moments when my lover leaves me alone,
I look at what I’ve done
and what I have become,
and I see that I am no better than before.
In many ways worse;
I still feel I’m cursed.
The threat of judgment hanging over my head
scatters my thoughts
and ties my guts in knots.
So I let myself slip under my lover’s lips.
If I will be absolved,
it won’t be my call.
I'm not crazy about the title, so feel free to offer suggestions in that regard.
Copyright (C) 2012 by Eric Landuyt