Thursday, October 4, 2012

Three More New Poems

Stained Glass Sky
Look up to the stained glass sky
and ask the Almighty beyond it
to look with favor upon you
and grant you what you ask.
Appeal to His sense of pity
since you cannot claim He owes you;
it is you who are in His debt,
and now you want to go deeper.
How much do you want now,
and how much is it worth?
Any chance you can pay it back?

Looking Away
Your hair hides your eyes
as you stare off to one side
and avoid my gaze.
You turn your chin down
and pout your lips in a frown,
still looking away.
You raise your head to
shake the hair back from your blue
eyes while still immersed.
At last, you return
my look with a glare that burns
until I blink first.
Message on the Mountain
Read the message on the mountain
spelled out in the rocks and brush.
Listen for answers from the fountain.
They are there, though they may be hushed.
Cross the moors and climb the hills
that lead up to the snow-capped peaks
Brave the cliffs and summon the will
to reach the summit and find what you seek.

Copyright (C) 2012 by Eric Landuyt

1 comment:

  1. 'Stained Glass Sky,' is a really cool image. The dry tone of the poem reminds me of dry church readings and songs, which I thought was a great subtle touch.
    Nitpicky stuff for 'Looking Away': "shake the hair back from your blue," doesn't flow and causes enjambment with the next line, "pout your lips in a frown," is somewhat redundant, etc. I really like the rhyme scheme, however, and appreciate that some of the lines don't appear to rhyme on the surface.
    'Message on the Mountain' is a troubling one for me. The form of the poem requires simplicity in the descriptions, yet what you describe is really vague. What kind of bush? What are the hills like? Do the rocks smell? And so on and so forth with these questions. Perhaps replacing articles with one-syllable descriptions can entice the imagination into filling in the blanks here. However, if you want to have that be the interpretative 'message,' that's fine too.