Saturday, June 2, 2012

Two New Poems

Vision of Hell #1
You are trapped
in a large, empty room.
The floor is stone;
rough, hard, and cold.
The walls are all mirrors,
no matter where you look,
you always see yourself.
The ceiling is a screen
on which you can see
images of people you loved
being abused, tortured, and abandoned
by you.
Your failures, your cruelties,
lies you told and truths you omitted;
all the damage you ever did
is shown to you
over and over and over and over.
If you look away from the screen,
you still see your terrible memories
reflected in all the mirrors.
No matter where you look,
You always see yourself.

The Letter in the Bathtub
Dip your handwritten letter
into the water of the bathtub.
Feel the paper saturate and
watch the ink begin to run.

The words you wrote
and the feelings they carried
are slowly disappearing.
Your record of this time and place
is being erased.

You hold the letter under the water
because you don’t want to remember.

Copyright (C) 2012 by Eric Landuyt


  1. I liked the imagery of the first poem, but something about its description makes me feel like it could work better organized as a free-verse paragraph, since the new lines don't seem to add much to the theme. The Letter in the Bathtub interests me... I wonder why such a method was chosen to get rid of the letter? Cathartic, perhaps?

  2. I really like the letter in the bathtub and I agree with Nick because the way you put it didn't give much extra depth to it, save a couple parts.

  3. Would either or both of these work better in first-person rather than second-person?

    1. Second-person is ok for both. Not sure what first would add.

    2. I was just wondering whether changing perspective would help a reader put him/herself in that place and create more of a personal connection.