I like the poem, particularly the window/door imagery and the idea of feelings/personalities being melodies. I also liked the parallel between your mother's English and your Chinese. Kudos on the Duke program.
I like using so many musical terms metaphorically. It makes those of us who know those things really think about it, but not with our minds, with our feelings.
My favorite part was probably the window as a peephole, welcoming others... that contrast really worked well for me. The essay had an interesting question about 'holes in souls'... perhaps you could expand on that somewhat, since the concept seemed vague. And, though I'm a bit late, congrats on the program!