The Greatest Villains: Act II, Scene XII

We’re nearing the end. I plan to apply your comments of converting this to a film script, but I’ll save that for another time… there are so many cool things I could do with that medium that I haven’t thought up yet!

Scene XII

Full lights. The heroes- SOLOMON, JC, GOLIATH, MARTHA, PILATE, JUDAS, AND RAMSES II- travel through the wasteland of Judah. They travel to center stage calmly.

MARTHA: We’re nearly there, and we’re a few hours ahead of schedule. Let’s relax for a bit.

Everyone collapses into a comfortable position.

MARTHA: I’ll scout ahead.

She does so, and leaves on the opposite side she came in on.

JUDAS: Ramses… I thought you were dead.

RAMSES II: Second. And likewise. I was happier when I was dead. Most people don’t recognize mummies once they take off that old toilet paper. It’s hard to believe, but people do die around here.

PILATE: (still combing his hair) So what’s your plan now?

RAMSES II: (adding some sort of preserving cream to his face) There should be huge statues for my family, the greatest rulers Egypt ever had. Heck, I’d be ok if I didn’t have one, just if they did. People should bow down on the mention of our names in the books, and they will, once I get that reward and become Pharaoh again. Dead men like me can wait forever for that special moment. Then, finally, Moses will bow down to us instead.

SOLOMON: My gods, that’s the most I’ve heard you say… ever! (Hands RAMSES II a water bottle that PILATE has been passing around) Need a drink? You must be exhausted!

JUDAS: You’re suddenly happy again.

SOLOMON: Well, I’m clearer of head to start with. I know what I want to do- go back to building. Did you know I built that big great temple up in Jerusalem among others?

PILATE: (laughing) Of course! Your name’s plastered all over the darn things!

SOLOMON: (laughs) Well, that’s gonna change. I’m going to help build libraries, and churches, and pools, and museums. They’ll be just for the people. The extra cash would be nice, though. What will you all do with your reward?

GOLIATH: I seek Olympic training. After that, maybe a laboratory. I shall become like a da Vinci that can also beat up people. It will be just as it was in my prime.

PILATE: Including always being at someone’s beck and call, huh?

SOLOMON: That’s funny coming from you. So tell me, how much of the your election winnings will go to the misses?

PILATE: (laughing) Well, I guess you guys read my story in that tell-all bible. (Pulls out a picture of his wife from his wallet, looks at it) She really is important to me. I tell others what they want to hear, but she’s the only one who cares for what I think. With her, all the puzzle pieces melt into place.

JC: Ya know, we don’t mind hearin’ from ya what ya actually think on things.

PILATE: I doubt it.

JC: C’mon, man. Just tell us one thing that ain’t double certified ta agree with tha polls.

PILATE shies away from the rest of the group, thinking hard but still trying to look cool. MARTHA returns with JACOB, a solemn, thin man.

MARTHA: I hope you bums are well rested, because you won’t believe who I ran into!

PILATE: (recognizing the stranger) Jacob!

JACOB: Yes, it is I.

JC: Oy… would it kill us ta meet someone a bit more excited ta see us?

JACOB: I have a special message for all of you, so gather around.

The heroes form a circle around JACOB.

JACOB: … get them.

Masked men begin to creep up around the party.

SOLOMON: I don’t understand. What do you-

SOLOMON shrieks out as one of the men grab him from behind. The other heroes are all captured simultaneously in similar ways, and begin shouting out.

JACOB: Take them and do as we planned. Leave King Solomon to me.

The rest of the struggling party is taken offstage. The masked man holding SOLOMON tosses him to the ground and walks away, seeing as SOLOMON can’t get up. Lights fully down, spot on JACOB and SOLOMON.

JACOB: You couldn’t have thought that you could run away from it all, King Solomon. Make a ‘heartfelt’ speech and then throw your cares to the wind? The people of Judah may forget quickly, King Solomon, but I do not.

SOLOMON: Please… I need a chance to try again... let me go…

JACOB: And what will that do? I’ll give you something more useful, King Solomon: a bible lesson. I stole my inheritance and lived my entire life as a trickster, yet I’m a hero in biblical pages. You build a city into greatness and saved millions with your wisdom, yet you’re cast into the same pit as barbarians and traitors. The fact is, King Solomon, that the Good Book has already decided your fate. My fate is to serve the Book’s wishes.

SOLOMON: … let them go…

JACOB: (laughs) Your friends are no different. They were written as criminals, and the Lord does not lie. They will pay. But if it’s a small comfort, King Solomon, know that, for the rest of your life, you will suffer a great deal more.

Quick spot cut. The audience hears SOLOMON let out a cry of anguish. Nothing happens for 10 seconds.

Then, spot goes back up to reveal SOLOMON in the same area he was left, curled up into a ball, shaking and sobbing.

SOLOMON: (stiffening up) … hello? Are you there?

JUDAS crawls on his belly into the spotlight. SOLOMON crawls on all fours to him and meets him with a hug.

SOLOMON: Judas! Oh, thank it all you’re alive…

JUDAS: (broken, on the verge of tears) I killed Him… The Savior was delivered and I… killed… Him…

SOLOMON: But you’ve done so much for Him.

JUDAS: It will never be enough.

RAMSES II crawls into the spotlight from the other side of JUDAS. SOLOMON helps JUDAS move as they meet in the middle. SOLOMON hugs RAMSES II.

SOLOMON: You’re back! (Waits for a response, gets none) Please talk to me, Ramses. Ramses the Second, say something, anything!

No response.

SOLOMON: We can get through this.

MARTHA walks onstage, stunned. SOLOMON gathers the strength to stand up and hug her.

SOLOMON: It’s ok, it’s ok, just come here…

MARTHA: What they told us… was it true?

SOLOMON: …No. No it was not.

MARTHA: I’m sorry I went off to scout… I thought I’d always be able to see you again… I feel like I couldn’t stand people all my life, no matter what I did for them. I hope Jesus never sees me like this.

PILATE crawls into the spot. SOLOMON rushes to hug him as the rest of the visible group huddle together in the center.

PILATE: They all hate me… everyone hates me, even after what I’ve done for them. Oh, Solomon, I just want to go home… I want to see my wife one last time…

SOLOMON: You will see her. I promise.

As PILATE joins everyone else, GOLIATH storms into the spot. SOLOMON tries to hug him, but GOLIATH pushes him in.

GOLIATH: Get away! You did this to me! ‘Think for yourself’… it was all a trick, wasn’t it! You’re sick, you gave me false hope (begins to break down crying) you’re not… my… friend…

He falls to his knees, sobbing. SOLOMON picks him up and hugs him.

SOLOMON Goliath, I’m sorry. Not for bringing you here, but I feel you’re right; I feel I lied to you in some way. I don’t know how, just… just come with us. I need you.

GOLIATH slowly joins the group, now clutching each other close together in the middle of the still spot.

MARTHA: My eyes are starting to adjust. Where are we? It looks like a nightmare.

SOLOMON: I don’t care anymore. All that matters is that we’re together.

RAMSES II: … then where’s JC?

SOLOMON: Where… (Stands up) JC! JC!  …Oh no…

JUDAS: What?

SOLOMON: (as half lights and full reds rise) We’re here. We’re at the junkyard.

The lights finish rising and the spot cuts to reveal a hell-like junkyard, filled with flames and heaps of trash. The heroes are standing underneath a graffiti pentagram. A clock gong strikes. End scene.

Copyright (C) 2013 by Nick Edinger